Breaking news: Alert at Papua New Guinea airport

A high school Mathematics teacher has been arrested at April River Airport (IATA code: APR) in Papua New Guinea. Officials were alerted when a scan of the suspected terrorist’s luggage detected a sharpened compass along with other items concealed in his case (including a protractor and other items), clearly designed to cause confusion and panic. It is believed he could be a member of the notorious Al-Gebra network that has been gaining momentum in a number of schools and colleges worldwide. The teacher, who has been named as Alex Blaine Layder, has admitted to carrying what have been dubbed as ‘weapons of maths instruction’ with an intent to disorient and unsettle the public.

A spokesman at Border Control, Dan Gerrus, commented that “Al-Gebra has been posing problems for many years, regularly throwing its followers off at a tangent, so we are doubly-pleased to intersect this individual who was making an illegal entry. You can always count on us to get to the root of the problem.”

Also intercepted last month were two axes, both of which were labelled, prior to being passed for expert analysis. On that occasion they arrested a man who was concealing a piece of graph paper. He had been plotting for some years.

More on this story later but, in the meantime, we welcome your comments below…

Comments (1)

  1. Nate Fleming says:

    It’s about time they started cracking down on Al-Gebra. They’ve been growing exponentially for years, and getting more and more obtuse with every passing year.

    But, having said that, something with this story doesn’t add up: as odd as it is, if we just start arresting all mathematics teachers, it’ll become a slippery slope that will just lead to all mathematics teachers just plotting to get even.

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